Mother’s Day
On December 22, 2011, I lost my mother to a very aggressive form of cancer. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could call, and talk to her. I have so many friends I wish she could’ve met, I wish she could’ve watched me and my sisters find spouses and have families, and I wish she could’ve grown old with my Dad. I wish a lot of things…
After she was diagnosed a week before Thanksgiving, I moved back home to help take care of her. The last month I got to spend with her was so precious to me. Even though she could only sit or lay down most of the day, we found a way to have a good conversation, watch HGTV/FoodTV (she was obsessed), or have a few (or many) laughs about something. She might have been more of an encouragement to me over the last month of her life than I was to her. Watching my Dad live out his role as a husband biblically was another thing that deeply touched me over the course of that month, not to mention the months before when she was ill, and we didn’t know what was wrong!
Some days are easy, and some days I feel the same way I did that evening I held her hand when she was laying on that hospital bed. You can read books on “how to grieve”, put all the Bible verses you want all over a card, but the only thing that has really gotten me through this so far are a lot of prayers from supportive friends/family, and pressing into the character of God. He has always been enough, and He is more than enough in this moment as He is when everything is going “okay”. I’m so thankful Tracy was my mother because I don’t think I would’ve gotten a better example of what it means to be a servant and suffer well otherwise.
I love and miss you very much, Mommy!
